hanya satu lilin…
"If you see something that needs to be fixed, do it. No one else is as observant now." (Aries-Mon-17 july 06)
If every little detail doesn’t quite add up today, get out your mental calculator and rework the figures. Solving problems, making peace and aligning incongruent elements is your specialty right now, so have confidence in your abilities — you can fix things! This is a blessing and a bit of a burden, too, since you need to get involved in things that normally wouldn’t interest you. Make your presence known and speak up. You should suggest a better way to get things done.
HOROSCOP hari ni agak menarik.. nak-nak tang.. i need to fixed the thing done! oh God.. is it a sign for me to move it step ahead? well, Things are going well here.. after a week, my courses are having a "ummpph!" as predicted.
Only around two more weeks left until "our official move in…." I am so excited now and so looking forward to the end of this month.. a little bit scary.. huh! is there sumthing bad or sweet waiting for me?? or failed again..? need to be patient again..and again…
A big thanx to "papa" who let me know that my life is not yet finished..segala yg berlaku I’m pretty sure is a sign that God is trying to punish me for my past mistake.. but then he’ll send me sumone who can always protect me..and love me without "penghinaan".
Last few night, I finally asked him how he felt about me and our relationship. This was prompted by me after learning that he hold me close to him.. It didn’t take him long to answer.. That should not be any great surprise to me, but it was still hard to believe…I told him that I was finally at the point.. what point??? what point?? "Hanya Mu Tuhan Yg Mengerti.." I shared that I felt that feelings are from God..
utk dia yg pernah aku panggil my hero…I needed to know if he wanted to try to pursue a relationship with me anymore or not. For over six months he did not ever indicate that he wanted this…since six month ago, i told him that I was willing to do whatever we could to try to save our relationship.. but he just keep in silence and sumtimes.. i think most of the times.." i wont let u hurt..but i cant live with sumone who can not clarify his stand!" I thought that was a very interesting comment for sure. erm…It’s like he was trying to cause me to take blame for him possibly "hancur!".There is nothing normal about what he is still fighting… honestly, "aku tak berani berhadapan dgn die yg sekarang…amat menakutkan.."
Throughout the conversation, I kept letting him know that he was not giving me any indication that he was ready to try to work on the relationship. So, I told him that it was time for me to start taking some steps for me now, including finding my own happiness..He seemed surprised, but I told him that is how I felt, and I wouldn’t be going back there anymore. I prefer to get my support through my own way…
so that I would not have any pressure to show up as a couple anymore. It would appear that this aspect of our life is now over. None of this seemed to bother him in the least either. I think he is just numb to all feelings…I think this is a choice he has made, that he no longer wants to be a part of my life..
I admit fault in this, and I have asked forgiveness.but he never turn to my apology..I just seek God’s guidance through prayer, meditation, reading and the advice of people that I respect as being able to give Godly advice.As always, take what you like, and leave the rest. Let God use this information for His purposes in your life and nothing more.
Satu Lilin Sehening Malam UK’s
Masih samar lagi
Cinta mu terhadap ku
Dan boleh diumpamakan
Satu lilin seluruh malam
Bukan lagi rahsia
Perhubungan kita
Sudah pun aku penuhi
Apa yang kau hajati
Dan terkadang aku pilu
Kenang sikap mu bagai
Pohon di tiup bayu
Yang bermati-matian
Menghadapi rintangan
Hanyalah aku seorang
Kau tewas
Di permulaan
Sedangkan jalan terbentang
Ku pancar kasih
Untuk yakinkan mu
Namun sia-sia
Aku menanti mu
Pasti belum menentu
Sekali terfikir jua
Apa sudahnya jalan penyudah
Di antara kita
Kalau sudah takdir
Cinta tak kesampaian
Kan aku mengingati mu
Insan tiada pendirian….
